ilovemonkeiz

And again.

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 02:21:44 GMT

The thing is, there is always something you have been wanting to say to somone but for whatever reason you don't. This is your chance to tell 10 or more people the feelings you've been keeping from them. No names should be written as to who its intended for. Let the fun begin.

1. Seriously? You're so... not stupid. You're so far beyond that, I don't have a word for it. You're a jerk, and you're stupid for messing with the Behnke family. And you're about to find that out the hard way.
2. Honestly now. You can't be serious about him. I think you're stupid because you told me you broke up, so what's up with that? Let's be honest with each other right now. We aren't best friends. We don't know jack about each other. Let's move on.
3. You're a jerk and everyone knows it. Well, by yourself, you're pretty cool. But when you have help, you're the biggest jerkface hoebag on this planet that I know. You're self-centered, annoying half the time, and you think you know everything. Get over it, you will be wrong sometimes.

4. Ah, I just feel like laughing at you. You mock other people even though you're doing the exact same thing. You'll claim you aren't, but you're such a liar. I know what you are and so do you.
5. I love you.
6. I'm gonna miss you like hell when I'm gone. This year has been the greatest and I don't know how I'm going to manage next year without you there. I suppose I'll get by just fine, but I swear, I'll be back to visit. Just don't forget me.
7. We haven't talked much lately. I guess we're both busy. But I love you, you know that right? You're the closest thing to a real sister I have.
8. Sometimes, I really want to slap you. Like, you can be the rudest person I've ever met, and other times, you can be the greatest friend. I guess it all depends on what happened that day, but if you keep annoying me, I will hurt you.
9. You suck. You're always like "I'm so effing great." Honestly now. No one really like you that much, and you know it. Look, we're all your friends, but you can stop being an arrogant jerk, already. We get it. You're stuck up and conceited. But can we move on from that? It's making me sick.
10. You're such a soul whore. Honestly, you aren't marry of those guys, and I'm pretty sure you know it, too.
11. I hate you. Every time I see you, I want punch you in the face. And we've never even really talked before.

Eh. Someone got the end of a long rant.

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 03:54:46 GMT

For your fucking information, one of those three I "only talk to" is the biggest asshole and isn't talking to me. Another I haven't talked to in at least a week and a half, probably more. And the last is always grounded, so I can't fucking talk to her all of the time. So how about I tell you something important you should already know about me: I don't fucking talk to people. As in, at all. If I have a problem, I usually keep it to myself, and I always have. If I do feel like sharing it, I do tell those three people because for some stupid ass reason, they understand me better than anyone else. I've never met any of them face-to-face, and for all I know, they're some old man that's been pretending not to be for the past two years. But honestly, that doesn't even fucking matter because they're there if I need them. If I really needed my asshole of a best friend, I know he'd talk to me. I know he wouldn't just leave me hanging. I'm not saying my other friends would, but out of the past five years, those three are best fucking friends I've had, and I've only known them for two out of that five. So I'm sorry if I don't feel up to talking to you about my feelings. I'm sorry if you get offended because I shut you out. I'm fucking sorry that I have emotions and I tend to let them control my day. I'm fucking sorry that the only people who are there for me, no matter what, live across the country. Even if I could change any of that, I wouldn't. If I did, I wouldn't be the same. Maybe if my friends lived next door, I wouldn't have to be all sad that I'll probably never meet them. So yeah, I'm sorry that I'm not always peachy keen and smiley because my friends can't give me a hug when I need it most.

Stupid people.

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 21:55:28 GMT

Why can't people just mind their own business, hmmm? What happens in my life will hardly afftect anyone, so I don't see why they're so up in my business, like they even give a shit. Yeah, we're friends now. But what about after graduation? What about once you go to college and I'm off to boot camp? I highly doubt you'll even remember me once I'm gone. I'll just be another missed memory in the brain.
Also, what you say means nothing to me. Call me stupid. Call me an idiot. Call me whatever. How about this? Call me once you have a fucking future that doesn't involve staying at home forever.

Bookshelves

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:32:05 GMT

Why is it that it can be
A month in between conversations,
But you can make it all better?
I know I shouldn't care
And that I should get over you.
But I just can't.
It's not simple, to just forget a person;
To just forget feelings.
I know that I don't have a shot,
Especially against her,
But I can't help it.
You changed - for her.
I wouldn't make you change.
I think you're just dandy
The exact way you are.
The exact way that we can never talk,
But if I'm not feeling happy,
You can just make it all better.

One word: Why?

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 05:03:07 GMT

Why are people so fake?
I'm not saying I'm not because I'll admit it: I have really fake moments. Like when my mother holds up that hideous shirt and I'm like ... PUKE. But I'll tell her it's nice anyways.
But I mean... People are supposed to be my friends, and be supportive. They're supposed to make me not feel stupid about my good decisions, and not make me regret anything. Not that I feel stupid or regret anything. But that's besides the point.
I tell my friends what, to me, was good news. And I got pretty much the same result: What?!
The only person I was happy with was Dev, cause he was just calm, and he understands about it. I mean, some of my friends were like "that's stupid" or something along those lines. Though, I don't mind Hans's "just don't die" thing. But sometimes, just saying "that's cool" would be so much better.
Another why.
Why can't people be there for me whenever I need them?
I mean, sometimes I just have one specific person I want to talk to, but why is it that whoever I want to talk to is never around? It's such freaking bullshit, I tell you. Of course, most people are sleeping now, but that's besides the point.

You know, on a complete random note, I miss old times. Not just back when I was little and nothing mattered. But like... You know how when you first meet someone, and you're talking a lot, and really getting to know each other?
That's what I miss with almost all of my friends. Just being able to talk about whatever and even if we did get offended, we'd not care because the other person was just that cool we didn't want to piss them off. But now... It's like we freaking try to annoy each other and piss each other off or just plain avoid each other.
I also miss how things are right after the first time you tell someone you love them. Like, the very first time that it's ever mentioned, and at first you're having a heart attack, because you've never said it - in any form. But then... You just say it. And you're happy because you realize it's true.

I don't even know any more. I just... I miss him. And the sad part is, I don't think he even knows it.

Guys suck.

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 05:30:31 GMT

I do believe my title says it all, but I'll elaborate.

What do I actually want in a guy?
Someone who has the ability to be a jerk, but doesn't overuse it.
Someone who can just be the sweetest guy in the world.
Someone who can make me crack up laughing without doing something completely stupid.
Someone who isn't a complete idiot.
Someone who won't make me feel stupid.
Basically, someone who is always there if I need him, no matter what, no matter when.

But where do I find this glorious guy?
Nowhere.
My thoughts are that they're all either taken or gay, because that's how the world is.
It's just plain against me.

I don't even know.

Thu, 22 May 2008 04:55:18 GMT

Why are people so stupid? I mean, honestly.
Tony says he likes me, right? Sure, I'll believe it. But at this point, I honestly don't care about him. He is so fucking... annoying. He can't decide whether he should be self-righteous or self-conscience, both of which are rather annoying. In class he's all "yeah, I'm the shit." Prove it, then. He tries to ask me out, and all of a sudden, he's so shy and worried about what I'll say. Honestly, it's not a good thing. He should really work on that.
While we're on this topic of him being the STUPIDEST guy alive, what's with EVERYONE knowing he likes me before even I knew? Apparently, he talked about this whole thing with everyone but me. That pisses me off so much. For so long, he was convinced that I hated Mary. Then he goes and talks to her about how he likes me? What the fuck, is all I have to say. Not only did he talk to Mary, but apparently Valerie, too. Oh, and don't forget that Betty knew. So now, everyone is all "Are you going out with Tony?" And I'm just like, "No." When he first asked about going out some time, I thought it might be nice. It got less nice when Amber asked me about it in class the next day. And it's only gotten worse from there. Now everyone thinks we're together, which we're totally not. I think the only one who really understands is Maria because Christian did the same damn thing to her, and then everyone kept asking her about whether they were together or not. We feel the same about this; it makes us like the person less and it makes us less likely to go out with them at all. People should just learn to mind their own fucking business.
Oh, I just remembered another thing that bugs me about the jerkoff that "likes" me. While we were in LA, we went to this art gallery, and there was this really pretty pot thing named "Hank." Well, we're walking back to van, and I go, "I like Hank." And Tony immediately freaked out. I was just like, "Holy shit, calm down, you overdramatic ass." Only, you know, not in those words. Then today, we're walking (by we, I mean me, Tony, Maria, Betty, Diego, and Christian), and we were talking about the skating thing tonight. And I was like, "I might go with my home boy, unless he's busy." Tony looked at me as if I were cheating on him or something, as if we were together. I was like... It's just Martin, shut up. I swear, I wanted to strangle him. I swear, he needs to control himself because he's really not helping his case.

Nostalgic.

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 05:08:58 GMT

So. My subject basically describes me. I'm somewhere between happy and sad and wanting something I'll never have. Sure, nostalgic is when you think of the past, but I was doing that too, hence the happy and sad stuff. And part of the wanting.
There're things I've come to realize about myself.
I love my friends too much sometimes. I think I push people away, but accidentally. And then I end up hurting myself. Not my best quality.
I over analyze some things. Like, if I see someone and they do something odd, I think about it for like, a good hour.
I've changed so much since... Well, just last year. But looking back at like, sixth grade, I'm a lot the same now as I was then. I still spend lunch in a teachers classroom. I'm still sarcastic. I still get in trouble for talking in class WAY too much. I still talk back. But freshman year... I wasn't at all like that. I never talked back, I rarely talking in class, I wouldn't be caught dead in a teacher's room at lunch, except maybe Mrs. Rowe's. But I'm changing. I'm wanting so bad to just ditch. ... Shit, I have ditched this year. I would have NEVER done that before. Ever. It's just... weird. I don't know when I changed, or how people in the top 3% of the class changed me in such ways, but they did. And I love them for it.
I like change. Not just the money form. But the other kind, too. Not dramatic change, but the little things. Like making new friends. The fun changes, you know? The ones you won't always regret later in life.
I need to decide where my life is going. What I want to do, apparently, isn't right for me, according to all of those wannbe-right tests. I don't believe them for a second. I will be what I want, bitches.

Fuck it.

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 03:57:19 GMT

It's been ages since I've cried. I seriously can't remember the last time I did. Well, I totally killed that today. I'm beyond stressed about school and how shitty my grades are, tennis practice has been killing me, and my mom just LOVES to find reasons to be pissed at me. And to top it all off, the one person I really want to talk to right now isn't even talking to me. In short, my life is purely fucked. I seriously didn't know I had so much karma stacked up against me that the world could just plain screw me over.
So now I'm crying and so pissed off that I just said screw my homework and chucked my notebook, math book, and flashlight across the room. So when my grades come and it's showing me close to fucking my future over, I'll be sure to tell my bitch-faced mother it's mostly her fault.
It's like she doesn't even care. I mean, she thinks I'm doing well in school. Reality check: I'm not. Math is just fucking up my brain and English has just been stressing me the hell out. That's the one class I really can't stand anymore. English is just... I don't even fucking know.
I had a theory that since I wasn't going to the tennis match today, I'd come home and do math homework. Well, my mother decided we'd go to Wal-Mart to get shit for my fucking PERFECT sister's baby shower. So I got home even later than I had planned. Then I started my work and my mom has yet to learn how to shit on her own and dragged me away from my homework. Then I ate. And I come back in my room and I just... I can't do my damn homework. It's confusing as hell and I never get the right answer until I've tried to solve for it about twenty times. One problem should not take me ten minutes, but it did.
Then no one is online for me to vent to, and I just.... I can't even handle all of this. This fucking pressure to be perfect. To get the best grades. To exceed the goddamn AIMS. To be good at sports. To be my sister. I don't want to be my sister. Any of my sisters. But then again, who would? One sister got knocked up at 17, the other at 16, and the last one couldn't keep her legs closed after she broke up with her fiance and before she came back here. Not to mention she did drugs. Probably still would if it wasn't for her being pregnant. My sisters are anything BUT perfect. So my mother can go screw herself over if she EVER thinks I'll be them.

My Devin.

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 00:59:41 GMT

Me: Well. She was mad you were ignoring her... I'm guessing. I get mad about it, too. But not like... I don't get butthurt cause it's nothing new.You ignore me a lot.

Devin: I have told you this a lot. Tell you I'm not a good person.

Me: Devin. You're way better than most of my "friends". I use the term "friends" loosely.

Devin: But I'm still not very good.

Me: So? I'm not exactly perfect.

Devin: I should be. Or at least you should have someone that is.

So. I decided it's okay that I love him more than I probably should. Because, maybe, he's gonna be the one that saves me. After all, he is my wonderwall.
He just made my day without even trying. <3

Smiles and gumdrops.

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:36:10 GMT

I lied. No gumdrops will be involved in this post. It has more to do with bongs than gumdrops. I just like them. =) Gumdrops, not bongs. God no, not bongs.
What do smiles have to do with bongs? A lot. In my case? My Mitchell didn't hit it today. =D Not that he does every day. But he has been getting high lately. And it's made me sad. And today, he threw away all of his smoking stuff and didn't hit the bong while his brother and said brother's friends were (which means I must beat the shizznat out of my Devin). He told me and I swear, my jaw dropped. And now I can't stop smiling. I wish I could give him a cookie, but Betty ate them all. So then I'd want to give him a hug, you know, but he's only slightly far away. More than slightly. But I'm sure he knows I want to hug him. I was like, "I'm so proud of you right now."
I've been lecturing the spaghetti out of his unghetto ass since, well, like, day one, I think. And I know he's quitting smoking starting the New Year, but this is just like... I don't even know. I'm just... Happy. Surprise, no? In fact, it is.
So, I dedicate this and it's entirety to my Mitchell, who just made my day, even more than Abraham in his muscle shirt. =)

Random thoughts.

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 01:01:57 GMT

So. I've got this super power, right? It's fairly powerful, but I should use it more carefully than I do. What is this power, you ask? The power to make anyone mad at me. And how did I receive this glorious power? Because no one ever taught me to think before I speak. I, for one, blame my mother for my gift. I mean, honestly, she couldn't have taught me how to control it when I was young? No. She left me to grow up and be able to piss anyone off, at any time. This is not a wonderful power, I tell you. I shall teach myself to control. I will do it. I will.

And there's this paper with a phone number on it and I subconsciously taped it to the computer with the number facing out and it keeps saying "Call him! Call him!" Then I look at the stupid paper and go, "No, it's long distance." Then the paper is all like, "Use your mother's phone." And so I go, "My mom would ask why I'm calling someone with a 317 area code." And then he shuts up. Then, a little while later, he'll catch me looking at him, and in a subtle whisper, he'll say, "Call him, silly. You know you want to. Do it. Do it." But I can't listen to a silly piece of paper because I know that once his voice says hello, I'll freeze up and say something stupid. Either I'll forget my name, or there'd be nothing but word vomit escaping from my mouth.. I mean, sure, I want to call him, but it'd be weird, you know? He wouldn't know it was me and all, but still. I'd rather not embarrass myself. Stupid paper needs to shut up.

Some kind of happy.

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 01:14:39 GMT

I've been super stressed lately. I'm gonna give myself an ulcer. Today I took the writing portion of the AIMS, which is just some bullshit. And tomorrow I take the reading section. I'm so not looking forward to it. I was so close to falling asleep. And with all of the work I'm missing for my classes I'm getting overly stressed. I want to cry. Really.

So I'm going to have to find things for me to do to just get away. I've been reading today, but it hasn't been helping much. I think I might find something to draw so maybe someone. I could always use another drawing of Mitchell. =D And not my turtle. I've also been attempting to write a story but that's not going all that well, to be Frank. I like being Frank, he's cooler than me. And nicer because today I was being so mean. I blame the stress. Whoever told me my junior year is the easiest can go to Hell.

Also, I've been thinking about college and where I want to go. I really want to go to Purdue. I think I'd like it there. If not there, than maybe Oklahoma State. If I have to go instate, I'll try for Embry-Riddle. I mean, I'll apply to all three and then ASU as a back up, just incase. Because they've got engineering to. But I really want Purdue.

For lack of better words, assholes.

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 02:25:07 GMT

Let's start with my math teacher. The stupid ass that kills my whole day. Normally he calls me Beverly, though today he got my name. Except he tried to tell me I was missing homework I turned in on Monday. I was like, "no, I turned that in on Monday," And he kept writing the problems. Then I was just like, "no. I already did it, you stupid." Without the 'you stupid'. Then he told me I was missing another assignment I did. I was like, fine whatever, I'll do it. So, I finished as the bell rang and I gave it to him and he's all "is it finished?" I was just like, "no, it's only half finished" in a really sarcastic voice. Then as I was walking out, I heard him saying "half?" I just walked away. Plus, I just learned, he marked me absent. I was sitting barely five feet away from him, if that! So my mom got all pissy because I "didn't go to fifth hour". He's gonna be so mad he messed with me on Monday. Mhmm.
Next we can move on to my sister. I guess she's more of a bitch than an asshole, but you get my point. I hate the my mom lets her get away with everything. Plus, she gets all mad that she has to come pick me up, as if she didn't know she'd have to. Hello! I thought she was "the smart one". Psh. Fuck that shit. She dropped her math class at Phoenix College - a community college - because it was too many classes. Honestly, I don't think she'd even be able to do it seeing as her boyfriend, who goes to PC, was asking me for help on the math homework he copied out of a book to make sure it was all right. So seriously, I don't give her a chance in college. She only made it through high school as valedictorian because half of her classes, she was just a TA for a teacher that loved her. Coincidence? Her poor one B was probably because she's freaking remedial. Seriously. She went to a school that just barely got NHS, sports, and a student council. Plus, it's a school that has no homework and it's the school that people go to when they get kicked out of mine. So seriously, she can get over her stupid self and her attitude can go with her.

Oh and just for the record, today at golf practice, Fred went in the damn water.

Friends suck.

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 01:53:30 GMT

I think my title says it all. But you know, I know there's certain people who don't particularly fancy me as a person, but yet they continue to be my friend, but they seriously need to stop saying stuff behind my back. Honestly, I have friends that actually care tell me what other people say. And said wannabe friend will know that I know she was saying stuff on Thursday. Oh, no, I won't tell her. Hell no. I barely even like her. But she'll know. Oh boy, will she know. I can't wait to see her face when she realizes that she, the president, will actually have to be, oh, I don't know, the president? Because no way in hell am I doing any of the talking at that damn meeting that has nothing to do with money. Mary can go fuck herself if she thinks she's going to make me do all of the talking and then get pissed because I "talked" more than her. That was bullshit anyways because if anything, she did all of the talking. She was just pissed that I told everyone how to play "Never Have I Ever," but then again, she's the stupid whore who said she didn't want to tell them how to play it. It's hardly my fault if the people who weren't at last year's drama club banquet thought I was the president. Maybe Mary should build a bridge and get over herself. And take her issues with her, because we here in reality don't need them.

For Isaac, my love.<3

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 21:02:52 GMT

So basically, school starts in less than a week on the sixth of August. My question, what the fruit is up with that? What happened to school starting after Labor Day and getting out before Memorial Day?

So I went to school for my ID and schedule shizz. We don't get out IDs until the first day of school now, which is complete BS because I wanna know how crappy I look right now. And my schedule is... bleh. I have Chemistry 1H, then uhh... Spanish 3. Then English5 AP, which I have with Orlando, who looked cute today, unless he switches out (and if he does, I shall castrate him). Then lunch (I seriously hope I'm not alone). Then uh... Pre-Calc 1(possibly honors, can't remember) which I'll have with the stinky seniors and hopefully other genius juniors but without annoying sophomores (totally didn't know it was spelled like that...) =]. Then I have Journalism, which should be cool since I want to be a writer. Then I get USAZ History 1H, which I also have with Orlando.

Ooh, and when I got home I stole two batteries from my keyboard, and loaded up my camera. I'm actually having a pretty good hair day, which calls for pictures. I also took a picture of Isaac. <3 Did you know that Isaac is hebrew for laughter? Mhmm. =]

I'm also write Miss Mary Mary Quite Contrary a letter on this little notepad I got at my nephew's birthday party forever ago. It's shaped like uh. Lightning McQueen from the movie Cars. I'm sure she'll love it. =]

And why does this thing have spell check but not grammar check, hmm? Though, my grammar usually isn't that bad. And spell check didn't even tell me I had "th"and not "the". What a waste. Speaking of waste, I'm gonna go find lunch so my body can produce some. =D

My dysfunctional family.

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 01:21:05 GMT

Okay, why is my family so fucking dysfunctional? I'm not even joking. My siblings fight with each other, but I seem to get along with all of them just fine. Plus, Dani still hasn't grown up and has to call Mom with all of her stupid little problems making me be a narc. Ugh. I swear. Why can't they all just grow the hell up? Sometimes, I think I'd prefer to have my parents fighting. I mean, seriously, because I doubt my mom would talk shit behind my dad's back to me like the rest of my incompetent family. I mean, I know I'm not perfect, but how is it that the only person I ever have issues with is Danielle and that's only because she thinks she's so damn superior (or however it's spelled). She tries to make it seem like the rest of us are just little nothings. That is exactly why I want to go to NAU. It's close enough to come home for the holidays without it being expensive, but far enough away from the drama of my family. Plus, I'd LOVE to rub it in Danielle's face if I got into NAU because they rejected her. Sorry that you had to be at the end of my rant. It just pisses me off that my family just can't seem to get along with each other. You think they'd be mature.

Not naming anyone.

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 05:55:08 GMT

This is to ten oh so different people. It's things I seriously would love to say to them, but I love(d) them too much to say it. I'm not going to name anyone. I'm just going to say it.

1. All I have to say is, you're going to be 19 in less than a month! Grow the hashbrowns up!!!! Honestly, dude, what's your beef? Are you as mentally challenged as I tell people or do you just pretend to be? If you're pretending, then consider a job in the acting career, because you're good.

2. Okay, seriously, she is not that wonderful. You can stop obsessing over her and find someone better to obsess over. (Me, if you really want to... Just kidding. I don't need a stalker.) But seriously, get over her. She's doesn't help you any. I love you and all, but please. Stop.

3. Even though we hardly talk, I still love you oodles. When we do talk, it's loads of fun. I miss you mucho. You should get online more often. Though, writing this here isn't going to help this problem much, now is it?

4. You're like my sister. Only better. (Trust me on that "better" part.) We have lots of fun talking to each other, probably because we're so much alike, but yet so different. We're like, the twins you see on TV, where they're friends but total opposites. Except we aren't total opposites... Oh, you know what I mean! And tell your parrot I said hi. =D

5. You're my best friend. I don't really have anything I've never been able to tell you. Except maybe that you have boyfriends way too often. Allow a little time in between them. People will get the wrong impression of you. Unless you want them to have that impression. Then by all means, go ahead. I'll love you either way.

6. I don't know why I even bother talking to you. Or even bothered to like you, for that matter. You make me smile and all, but sometimes, I think you're bi-polar. I love you more than you know, and I probably won't ever tell you because you'll be all joking about it.

7. You're not as perfect as you think you are. I'm surprised you can get through the front door with an ego that big. You aren't that smart, your SAT scores proved that for me. I still love your slow, arrogant, self-centered self. I don't know why you changed from who you were. But now, you're preppy and stuck up. I seriously suggest not going outside when it's raining. But if you do, I'll make sure you have a lovely funeral.

8. I'm sad that we aren't best friends any more. We've both changed a lot, but couldn't we patch things up? You know, go back to when we told each other everything and all about the guys we liked. I miss those days.

9. You're a biscuit. Simple as that. Sure, you have your moments where I'm glad we're friends, but still. You could mature a little. And give your best friends a little wiggle room to hang out with other people. I sometimes feel sorry for them because they feel as if they have to hang out with you or else you'll stop talking to them and give them the cold shoulder. But seriously. If she wants to go hang out with her boyfriend, then you should let her. That's what best friends do.

10. Get over yourself. I'm mean to everyone. You're just really funny to make fun of. It's super fun. =D I still love you and your silly self. So this year, don't get butt hurt when I make fun of you. I do that to everyone.

I have nothing creative to put.

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 01:24:33 GMT

You know, I don't know why I bother getting excited about things. Either they aren't as good as they should be or they just never happen. i'm just tired of wanting something that's almost in grasp but then it's just snatched away by the evils of this stupid place we call Earth. "It won't kill you to wait." That's what people would say. I wonder, how bad would they feel if I died before I got what I wanted? I bet they'd feel pretty damn shitty.

Reasons for hating my camera.

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 05:13:50 GMT

1. No matter what batteries I put in it, it always seems dead... Maybe I should buy new batteries.
2. The pictures are too dark. I considered the flash, but I need battery power for that.
3. It's zoomed in too close so I never get good pictures of myself.
4. I have to hold down the power button for about 20 minutes before it'll turn on.
5. The picture taking button is broken.
6. When you zoom in, it becomes all pixelated.

Hm. I think that's it for now. I'll just "borrow" my sister's camera tomorrow and take better pictures.

Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, I hate not having money. Boys Like Girls is coming and I can't even fricking go see them due to lack of money.

Summer still sucks.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 04:58:51 GMT

So my sister officially said I could use her computer. And, with this newfound ability, what have I done? Nothing. Oh, I wrote Ashley and Kayla back on Myspace. I considered updating my story on FictionPress, but I don't know what all to write. I need to find more pictures as well. I've actually read two chapters of Schindler's List today, and I'll probably read more. Ooh. But I did make a new CD today! So, there's a total space of 700 mb on the CD itself. With the 131 songs I managed to fit on, they take up 690 mb, leaving no room for anything else. I actually had to take quite a few songs off of my list. Mostly one I don't like as much or I'd probably end up skipping. I have 10 songs by Rise Against, 7 by Green Day, 6 by Simple Plan, 5 by Three Days Grace, and a bunch of bands with 4 or less. I must say, I'm in love with my CD. I just realized how stupid I am. I was searching for my remote for the DVD player (which contains the aforementioned CD) and it was right there next to my mouse. I'm such a blond sometimes. And I apologize to blonds everywhere for saying that, me included. So now I'm thinking I'm gonna read more and listen to the "tranquil" sounds of my music. Unless by some godly chance someone gets online. Chances of that happening are probably zero in a million. So, I'll go read more of Schindler's List.

I'm such a loser.

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 04:46:36 GMT

Well, yesterday I put these batteries in my camera and they got stuck. Then I got one out. And about half an hour ago, I got the other out. Took me a day and half to get it out. And then I was taking pictures because I was bored. So I took one while spinning in my chair. And now I feel sick because of the aforementioned spinning. Anywhos, I decided to upload them to my myspace, which took forever because myspace is stupid. And now it's late for everyone but me and I have no one to talk to. So I'm probably going to write. Possibly part of my story. Or maybe another poem. I found my love/hate list. I have 34 things that I love and 32 that I hate so I have a variety of things I could write about. But the thing is, I'm tired. But I don't want to sleep. And I just jacked up my nail. Well, enough of my nonsense for today. And probably the next few days... That's what I can do! I can read more of Schindler's List because 1) it's fruiting awesome and 2) I have to for my summer reading project. Laters gators.

Summer sucks.

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 05:27:51 GMT

Since when did all of my lifeless loser friends actually get lives? And what gives them the right to get a life without me? Okay, I'm just jealous of the fact that I've done practically nothing so far. Well, we've only been on break for a couple of weeks, but it feels like longer. I have found one way to entertain myself, other than reading reading Harry Potter and watching the movies non-stop. I've decided to write a story. Yeah, I'm not exactly the writer type, but I'm bored, sue me. So, once I feel nice and comfortable with this story that I seriously need to name, I'm going to add it to my Fictionpress. Sadly, I have a Fictionpress without any stories. I got one so that I could leave un-anonymous (spelled wrong, I think) reviews for my friend. But she got me totally addicted and if I'm not reading Harry or a book from the wretched summer reading list, I'm probably reading some story on there, probably a romance. Yes, I'm into the cheesy romance stories. So long as the aren't too clichèd because then they just pretty much, well, suck. So hopefully whilst I waste my summer writing my story and reading myself into oblivion, all my friend will have fun with their summer school jazz. Maybe I should just make friends who are too smart for summer school but too stupid for the ACE program. Well, no. Too lazy for the ACE program because if you can't get into that, then that's just sad. I'm just that stupid loser who would rather read interesting junk than write an essay. Trust me, I avoid essays as much as I possibly can because they generally suck. So, now that I've announced that I'll be doing nothing this summer other than boredom, I'll go to writing more of my story. Oh, and I'll add that my sister's computer (the one I'm currently using) sucks more than leeches due to the fact that it does NOT have Microsoft Word so I'm stuck using Word Pad. I would inform her of this horrific thing that is happening, but since she is currently gone for a few weeks, she doesn't know I'm using her computer. =D That's what she gets for moving back in and forcing me to share a room with her, strongly against my will. Thank GOD for wicked long internet cables, though, or else I'd be stuck out in the family room area typing all my deep and personal thoughts for my brother and mother to see. That's exactly why I'm posting them on the Internet. Yeah, makes total and complete sense...

I'd also like to thank God for spellcheck. =D For some untold reason, I'm feeling hyper and happy and un-tired right now even though it's really late. Which is perfect for writing. =)

Sick.

Mon, 28 May 2007 23:32:38 GMT

Either it's just my imagination or I'm sick. Probably the latter. Which completely blows. I have no plans or anything, but seriously. It's summer. The only time I EVER get sick is during break. Ugh, at least it's only the beginning, I guess. But this summer has already been boring. I have no plans. Maybe I should clean my room, but would that be fun? I think not. I also need to go to the library because I have books I need to read for a summer reading project for English. Then I get to do book reviews and the Five Facts of Fiction for all five books. Sounds like fun, right? Sadly, I can't go to the library today because it's closed due to Memorial Day. I'll have to talk my mom into taking me tomorrow because my oh-so perfect sister has work and won't bother to come home until after the library closes. Joy. If I can't get my mom to take me, then hello city bus. Eh, that wouldn't be too bad except that it's Phoenix. In the summer. So it's hot and the bus stop for the required bus is half a mile away. I seriously hope that I can get my mom to take me. Oh, I should find my library card first, though.

Piggies.

Tue, 08 May 2007 03:24:04 GMT

So we started pig dissection today in biology. I'm going to remember not to eat lunch so that maybe I won't feel so sick tomorrow. It smelled bad. And I don't know if you've been around fetal pigs lately, but they're hairy. And I didn't want to touch it. But Antonio wasn't there and it was just me and Dareen, so I had to touch it. I had on gloves and all, but still. I felt like my lunch was going to come back up and show itself to the world saying "the stomach said I should come out and meet you all!" Point being that I seriously hope that Antonio is there tomorrow so that the snow cone that will be my lunch will remain my friend. Maria and Celain kinda made me mad though. They were working with Teddy, but they made him do all of the work, and wouldn't even help. They didn't even want to help put the little (well, big) piggy into the Ziploc bag. Yes, I had to make the stupid, gross, hairy pig into the gosh durned Ziploc bag. I felt bad, to say the least.