ilovemonkeiz

 For your fucking information, one of those three I "only talk to" is the biggest asshole and isn't talking to me. Another I haven't talked to in at least a week and a half, probably more. And the last is always grounded, so I can't fucking talk to her all of the time. So how about I tell you something important you should already know about me: I don't fucking talk to people. As in, at all. If I have a problem, I usually keep it to myself, and I always have. If I do feel like sharing it, I do tell those three people because for some stupid ass reason, they understand me better than anyone else. I've never met any of them face-to-face, and for all I know, they're some old man that's been pretending not to be for the past two years. But honestly, that doesn't even fucking matter because they're there if I need them. If I really needed my asshole of a best friend, I know he'd talk to me. I know he wouldn't just leave me hanging. I'm not saying my other friends would, but out of the past five years, those three are best fucking friends I've had, and I've only known them for two out of that five. So I'm sorry if I don't feel up to talking to you about my feelings. I'm sorry if you get offended because I shut you out. I'm fucking sorry that I have emotions and I tend to let them control my day. I'm fucking sorry that the only people who are there for me, no matter what, live across the country. Even if I could change any of that, I wouldn't. If I did, I wouldn't be the same. Maybe if my friends lived next door, I wouldn't have to be all sad that I'll probably never meet them. So yeah, I'm sorry that I'm not always peachy keen and smiley because my friends can't give me a hug when I need it most.