ilovemonkeiz

So. My subject basically describes me. I'm somewhere between happy and sad and wanting something I'll never have. Sure, nostalgic is when you think of the past, but I was doing that too, hence the happy and sad stuff. And part of the wanting.
There're things I've come to realize about myself.
I love my friends too much sometimes. I think I push people away, but accidentally. And then I end up hurting myself. Not my best quality.
I over analyze some things. Like, if I see someone and they do something odd, I think about it for like, a good hour.
I've changed so much since... Well, just last year. But looking back at like, sixth grade, I'm a lot the same now as I was then. I still spend lunch in a teachers classroom. I'm still sarcastic. I still get in trouble for talking in class WAY too much. I still talk back. But freshman year... I wasn't at all like that. I never talked back, I rarely talking in class, I wouldn't be caught dead in a teacher's room at lunch, except maybe Mrs. Rowe's. But I'm changing. I'm wanting so bad to just ditch. ... Shit, I have ditched this year. I would have NEVER done that before. Ever. It's just... weird. I don't know when I changed, or how people in the top 3% of the class changed me in such ways, but they did. And I love them for it.
I like change. Not just the money form. But the other kind, too. Not dramatic change, but the little things. Like making new friends. The fun changes, you know? The ones you won't always regret later in life.
I need to decide where my life is going. What I want to do, apparently, isn't right for me, according to all of those wannbe-right tests. I don't believe them for a second. I will be what I want, bitches.